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June 13 PIMP MY PLANNERWell yeah, this is the thing.
Hi!
I have so NOT been on live spaces for ages dude. I'm a loner on here now anyways, actually I guess I always was to an extent.
I have been revising like MAD. (Well thats not entirely true...) but I have had tonnes of exams and stuff. Just... Pyschology and Science left. Yay.
I'm going to miss everyone loads. Trust me, I'm on the verge of doing something crazy to supress the pressure. On that note I've always fancied eloping to India - join me if you wish.
I'm half considering making a little demo cd by the by.. just songs i've written, songs other people have written and... and that technically covers every possible category so lets end this sentence here.
This would be my tracklist so far:
1. He doesn't need a name, cool kid
2. Summer loves
3. We Dance in the Dark
4. Homeless
5. Monks in the Nunnery (Credit to M. Towner + J. Nolan)
6. Barbie Doll (Credit to M.Towner)
7. Trust and Stuff
8. Saviour
But heyho it will never happen. :)
I'm off now. Revision for Psychology exam. Oh one more (tiny) update, I refound 90's music. Aaah, the good ol' days when I was about 3 foot 3 and played 'kick the can' out the front and then sang Amy Studt on TOTPs (the stage was actually my friends' parents bed but we had good imaginations). Wow the 90s were great though, right? Count me in, Eiffel 65.
x May 10 Tweeeeeet.OK, here are the updates of my life.
- I don't use live spaces alot any more.
- I have twitter.. follow me (:
- I have Anthony Hill's autograph!!
- Recovery is something I feel like I am actually succeeding at for once!
- GCSEs start this week. Goodo'.
- Church is changing alot, it is so hard to deal with, man.
- Guitarrrr, guitarrrr, oh you beautiful GUITARRR. It's good to have you back.
- Nearly no more school. RESULT. April 21 Another unreal blog.I have NO creativity right now. Thats why this blog isn't real. Its just another not proper, not good blog. Like most of them really. I'll just chat about stoff. (Yes, stoff. Not stuff. I can't help it that I'm (probably a tiny bit) northern).
Why is it, that when you are a kid, any car that has an open roof is cool? Even if its the worst colour and the oldest model? It's so true. If I brought my youngest sister a convertable with the words I AM A T*SSER on the front, she'd love it. And not only because she has no idea that being a tosser isn't a compliment, bless her. But you get my turkey, left? (By left I mean right. You know that though, left?)
Ok, this blog is pointless because I bet you don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't really care to be honest. (:
Umm. I need to do coursework now. OOOH you need to know something!
I have a foster kid.
Well, actually its a borrowed guitar. My own Swift baby has a fawlty machine head and I can't restring her 'til saturday. SOB.
I learnt new songs though! Like, loads.
- Sex on Fire : Kings of Leon
- You Talk : Babyshambles
- Checkin' it Out : Lil' Chris ( I made up the chords!! I'm proud as! )
- I write sins : Panic at the Disco
- Thnks Fr Th Mmrs : Fall Out Boy
- Time to Pretend : MGMT (I'm yet to master this one.. it sounds a bit of a mess right now)
- Fuck was I : (forgotton the artists name.. oops.. but Kels does it better anyway)
(:
April 17 This is true..''yes i believe in jesus. being really thin is very appealing but that agreement with ana really sounds to me like a deal with the devil. It is totally Satanic.If we learnt to love ourselves like jesus loves us we wouldn't have to hate ourselves. I totally understand why you girls want to be so thin...i do too but I will NOT give in to SATAN. '' WOW. I'm not even kidding - I prayed for this comment last night, seriously, this is exactly what I needed. Its a big fat sin not illness! MANNNN I love God so much. Now all I need to do is learn for it and get my butt back into Self Recovery mode. WHICH I WILL DO BECAUSE I WANT TO AND NEED TO. (: April 13 TRAUMA AND EASTERRRI don't really know how to describe my feelings at roughly 10.04pm on Saturday the 11th April. I have never felt so... empty, so... lonely and frightened and confused. I physically could not breathe. My future, the next two of three days of my life flashed infront of me, just a haunting blur of isolation and disturbia. For it was then that I realised I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO PLAY GUITAR 'TIL TUESDAY!
It's Monday now, it's tough, it's tough, but I'm somehow surviving.
First Easter as a Christian just passed. Well, I was a Christian last year but I still had little understanding of what it was about. But yeah, I went to church, sung my lil heart out, completely and utterly thankful and humbled that God chose His son to die for ME. The preach was amazing and I am definitly going to download it when I get back to me cribbbbb. Twas a great day. Oh and then I ranted to like 3 different people about how non believers should NOT celebrate Easter. I bet while they are munching on their Easter eggs enjoying the day off they are NOT at all considering how wonderful it is that more lambs are born in Spring than any other time of the year, which they claim to be doing. Greedy little annoyances. Hypocrits. They spend the year mocking my beliefs, then jump in and invade my celebrations for the free ride. It's a piss take. GRRH.
I could go on for ever with this arguement but I won't. But please feel free to download the sermon we enjoyed yesterday (: http://www.kingshastings.org/index_about_download.htm March 31 Edna Mode and Heaven and Edna Mode(Sitting in our English lesson)
Lucy: What if we are all actually dead right now and don't know it.. and this is Heaven?
Me: No it can't be Heaven.. because if it were.. SHE wouldn't be here (points to Edna the teacher from hell)..
Sophie: What if she's Christian? We'll be with her forever..
Amy: Well if she is, I'm not going..
(Asks if shes Christian)
Edna: Yes
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO March 27 Staple diets and stuff.I have only just realised this.. but horses have it tough. (That was NOT, i repeat NOT meant to sound dodgy.)
What food do they eat? Hay.
When do they eat it? All the time.
Why do they eat it? No idea.
What else do they eat? Hay.
Two words: HOW BLAND.
I can imagine our equivelant is a plate full of spagetti. Just spagetti. And whats the spag without the bol? Come on people, look what you are doing to these poor animals. Lets atleast serve it with sauce. March 22 Thanks Lucy for the blog idea :D Yaa hillbilly (;Luella (: says: its such a redneck word dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: well what can i say... i AM pretty damn redneck Luella (: says: me too dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: Y'ALL Luella (: says: so proud of it dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: haha yeah ME TOO Luella (: says: haha read my pm dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: hahah im sooo copying that dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: haha Luella (: says: we really need to get some cute hillbilly guys and go live in Pennsylvania next to a river containing radioactive waste and set up home there dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: 'cute hillbilly' = mythical creature Luella (: says: HAHA there might be some you can have the one playing the banjo in the deliverance dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: yeah good luck on finding them aww ewww noooo errgrh that gross lil boy he'd make a good son Luella (: says: HAHA yeah maybe we should just be redneck lesbians and adopt? dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: its a plan hahaa Luella (: says: we could get that hillbilly house in Northiam? dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: the one i said about? Luella (: says: yeah dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: that was mountfield lol. we SHOULD. Luella (: says: oh and yeah! someone needs to get a banjo dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: thats not a problem we'll just steal one from an oold creepy music store.. and if the shop assistant catches us we'l just eat him Luella (: says: HAHA we could just bring an axe carry half home each dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: haha sharing IS caring Luella (: says: we should start dressing in cowboy boots and checked shirts with little plaits dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says: definitly hahaa i gtg anyways Hillbilly xx byee y'all BLONDEMan alive I have never said anything more embarressing.
Picture this: We are in a zoo, walking past the monkey enclosures. And something catches my eye..
the electric fence around the enclosure.
So I say: 'Why the hell do they use electric wires when they can just fly?'
Hmm, yeah, don't ask. But monkeys do actually spend so much time jumping around and up trees n' shit that it can very very easily be confused with flying. Am I right or am I right?
I wouldn't call that a blonde comment anyway, just stupid.
So yeah.
Jade Goody 'is no more'.
God bless her.
Lucky thing gets to begin her eternal life of happiness.
My feelings go out to everyone else still stuck on the mundane planet Earth.
No seriously, I am heartbroken for her and her family.
Seriously!
Why do I get the feeling you don't believe me?
RIP Jade; <3 March 16 Hmm.FFS.
I might as well add a category called 'writers block' seeing as I have it so much. Lets see what absolute trash I can talk about for the next minute.
Erm,
I'm considering getting a monroe peircing.
I got a Ricky Gervais biography today (actually my mum did but its literally mine).
I'm not even going to pretend I ran in the half marathon yesterday, however I cheered 'em all on.
I have to do coursework til half 5 tomorrow and I am not amused.
We caught an orb on video last week. You don't believe me? You don't suprise me. But we did.
Slash is so much better than David Tennant.. and 1/3 of you agree.
I don't love Maoam so good.
Teaching guitar is really cool and I enjoy it.
Ok, you HAVE to trust me with this - skins has the best soundtrack. Especially this last episode. LOOK IT UP.
Nighty nighty
:D March 10 UntitledI miss school so bad!
Is that a bit sad?
Haha. That rhymes. Someone beginning with.. J is thinking about me right now.
Who do I know with a name beginning with J?
Hmm.
But anyways that irrelevant.
I shouldnt have skipped school yesterday.. karma is killing me for that with these darn stomach cramps.
I've learnt my lesson and I'm definitly going in tommorow.
I missed a good day today as well.. correct me if I'm wrong but didn't Edna Mode teach English today?
Grrh those are always the best lessons.
I got so bored today n' all.
Jeremy Kyle was so harsh today I was suprised.
I am never going on that show.
And I am never going to watch that show again.
(Until the next time there is nothing on TV and I'm ill and alone.)
WHO HERE HATES ART GCSE?!
WHO HERE IS THINKING OF TAKING IT FOR AN OPTION?!
Don't.
You'll be sorry.
PEACE OUT <3
March 05 Personal Blog.....Ok this blog is personal.. BUT.. the 3 main people who read my blogs know what I'm talking about so its ok.
So .. this week has been the beginning of my life, and I have been trying hard to transform in many ways.
The main one is obviously the self recovery.. and I must say, it is going well.
The thing is, I haven't allowed myself to fully get to my normal weight in about 18 months.. and I am putting on alot of weight atm and I'm a bit concerned about what my natural weight actually is lol.
Skipping meals has been very tempting to me and I have had plenty of chances to do so.. but in the past 4 days I have eaten 3 proper meals a day!!!
No excerise, the thought of it scares me a bit because now I associate excerise with this illness, but I hope I'll get over that.. its like another personal subject.. when I was recovering from something else I used to get really disturbed when I cut myself shaving because it reminded me of other things.. does that makes sense? But my point is.. I got over that so I will get over this too!
May ask for someone to pray for me in church on sunday if it's still tough.
I am really missing my ED thinspo songs though.
May listen to them anyway.. its not a sin to listen to a song about that is it? :S
March 04 ooooooh..Ooooooh...
A pretty background..
To remind me of pretty Cups & Saucers.
I need another cup and saucer! They are just too amazing to be true.
I'm obsessed, slightly. The Man Of Many NamesJack-In-The-Box
Snack-a-Jack
Wacko Jacko (He hates that one.. I dont know why...)
Jackanory
Jacko Lantern
JACK IS A LEGEND AND HE HAS THE MOST VERSATILE NAME EVER. :D
March 02 MILLIE
Happy 13th Birthday Millie! I wrote you this poem. It is called
Millie's Poem.
Inspired by true life events, your own infact, its about the hope and achievement through the healing process.
One year on and life still gets hard sometimes, but we can get through it together.
We can do it because we are strong and will not take orders for disorders (:
Sleepless dark And the sky is all she sees The stars interrupt her words The stars, as she lies awake Again
Too much trouble She can’t rest And she can’t sleep Lost hope Lost
Starving and restless Exhausted and dark eyed She is 12.
And then something changed And the stars glow bright And her eyes grow wide
Silent smiles Planted hope and faith in her heart It grows And it twists and turns Whispered words to her heart Her strength lifts the burden And with her own strength alone,
Closes her eyes Tries And fails sometimes Sometimes she sleeps She sometimes dreams Nightmares invade but she pushes them away
Free and she flies She’s alright It is night time And at last, She can sleep She is 13.
I hope you like it. Kinda explains your story. A journey that began this time last year. By the way people.. Millie was also the first to start reading my blogs.. August 07 guyss lol.
Love you, you deserve the world full of peace x And when you come on msn I have a proper pretty version of the poem i need to send you. <3 March 01 Oh my...Okay. One word:
WOW.
Actually.. thats not enough. I could talk for England today. I could talk for our planet. I could even represent the universe with my talking. I have so much to say!
Ok.. basics...
CHURCH. I went.. so did ummm 5 school friends, and a few other friends, and obviously church friends. My mum went and her boyfriend. My sisters went and my BEZZIE / unofficial step sister. I was the last of eight people to get baptised. I was so nervous. In actual fact Santino said to me 'I know you're nervous...' although he didn't say it to anyone else.. so I must have been the most scared. My friend's parents dunked me under the water which was great because J'adore them. I was wearing my sisters Carbrini trackies and when I got out the water I felt like a soaked chav. but I don't care. I have never been so happy (: All my friends were so totally supportive. And they all got a bit wet.. I'm sorry. hahaa. The worship was amaze. We sung a song from Newday. I handed in my Newday form today as well :) And there were doughnuts afterwards. And I got a few presents which always helps.
And on my way to the changing room.. this woman came up to me and goes 'well done you' and at first I was like :S and then I was like :'D cos I realised it was my aunt that I haven't seen in like 7 years cos we had a family fallout. And that was amazing. I cried alot at church today. ALL happy tears though. My life has totally changed today. I am happy to say my old life is dead and today is the first day of my eternal life.
(Thankyou in particular to... Lucy H, Sophie C, Amy M, Sarah G, Amy N cos you guys made today alot easier for me)
Oh and congrats to Sophie and Sarah who also got baptised today x
:D
February 24 Love the WayCause I love the way you love the way I love you And I love the way you love me too And I love the way we take away each other Into places that erase away our thoughts, our cares, our dreams or scares And I never want to let you go Because I love the way you are February 21 Ooops.dollfaceIMPOSSIBLE says:
lol hmmmm I feel quite embaressed actually.. it was meant to be a sophisticated body shop party haha
--lucySTEPHANIEalex ;; x3 . Ollie <3 ilu..x says: it was til umm.. lay came :L:L February 20 GUITARRRQuotes from last night.Me: As from now, I am never swearing again. I am Christian and Christians do not swear.
*Lucy kicks me in the shins*
Me: FUCCCKKK.
Lucy: Haha.. what were you saying?
Me: On my funeral you need to all dress up as one of our memories together.
Lucy: I'm going to dress up as a hillbilly.
Kerchene: I'm going to dress up as Heather from Eastenders.
Me: Thanks guys..
Lucy: I'm going to kill Slash and chop him up and send you all his body parts in the post.
Me: Ok, well then I'll just get a big cut out of him and stick all the parts on it and he'll be as good as new.
Mum: You are both sick.
Kerchene: ...and then we went to this mini art museum
Me: In Rye? Wth?
Kerchene: Well, it was a room full of pictures.
Me: Haha what?! So this room has a tv in it, does that make it a mini cinema?
Lol. Last night was pretty funny. I got a hair cut, a guitar covered in gob (don't ask), and was called vicious. HAHA. I love the half term holidays. And I love my family so much. Can't wait til Easter holidays now. xD February 19 Unhappyness (N)Everything is so hard right now.
I'm stuck in doors today cos I don't have a phone.
So many people are losing people they love.
And don't get me wrong, listening and comforting people that I love is probably what I do best.
And I would do it forever if it meant noone had to feel alone.
But the thing is,
It is starting to get me down.
I just feel... overwhelmed by everyone's grief and misery.
I have my own problems as well, but my friends come first always and I don't want to change that.
I don't want help really.
I just miss so many people right now.
I have lost some wonderful people.
I miss their smiles.
I want them to be happy.
Then I will smile too.
Friends = Family and I love you all sooo much, I would fly to the moon and back to save any one of you.
I don't know what else to say,
I just will always be there for you,
And everything will get easier.
It just sucks so frickin bad that all your problems are happening at once.
Love you forever,
<3 February 18 Thoughts and selfishnessThis is an entirely selfish blog about myself and my thoughts and stuff.
1- I tried Chilli & Chocolate crisps today and came to the conclusion that Walkers are strange.
2- I have finally mastered the chord Bm on the guitar.
3- I haven't talked about Jade Goody all day (actually I did and I have just done it again but never mind).
4- I have decided who I want to baptise me.
5- I really don't want to do my psychology coursework tommorow,
6- And I really wish my psychology teacher hadn't called my parents in for another concerns meeting.
7- School is taking over my life.
8- My nose peircing is going septic.
9- GOOD. Don't care.
10- There are only 4 people here at the moment as oppose to 12.
11- I can hear a police car right now.
12- I'm guessing there has been an accident on the roundabout outside.
13- I am bored and tired.
14- I am appearing offline. February 17 BuskerzI have just had an amazing day!
 It must be amazing because I have never used an emoticon on live spaces before. So PROOF.
Basically, me and Lucy (H) went to Alexandra Park with our acoustics and met up with 12, I think, friends. We had a little picnic thing and me and Lucy played some songs. It was actually hilarious. Everytime a ginger person walked past everyone started singing the ginger song lol. Twas trés amusant.
Then me and Lucy went off to go busking around Hastings. We had a few drunken creeps come up to us haha, but apart from that it was great. And we had a little audience outside the town centre.
Today was WICKED.
We call it 'Orange Tuesday'.
We'll be having one again quite soon probably, we'll leave a bunch of messages around facebook and stuff - everyone is invited (:
Thankyou to everyone who came, and I'm so sorry to all those who didn't cos you miss out on a peach day.
(Who remembers the word peach?) February 16 BLOGGING TIMEWell, 2 in the morning and I'm still online. HAHA. Thats funny. Actually you know what, it's not. Not really. It's weird. Wrong. This is what people call 'unhealthy'. Who cares? I'm happy. So you know. BAPTISED IN TWO WEEKS! Busking on Tuesday! I'm very very happy indeed. XD February 15 JADE ):Okay now, who has heard the news ??
Jade Goody has been given months to live.
She has kids! This is too sad. Aww I could cry.
I can't help thinking it's karma though.. I mean, she was diagnosed with cancer after leaving the big brother house, right after she became 'racist scum'. (Note the quotation marks.. I got it from a newspaper.. I'm not just being harsh!) So yeah that's my theory.
I do feel a bit sorry for her now.. I didn't at first, I thought she is was just getting attention that she doesn't deserve.. and to be honest she is. I know so many people who have died of cancer, some alot more tragically, but they don't get shitloads of cash for sobstories in the magazines.
You know what, with what she is going through right now, I really don't feel comfortable ranting about her to be honest so I'm going to go.
): |
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